fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
