you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
