I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
