my text book just quoted the cookie monster
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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