just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
