I will die if light touches me.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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