I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
