THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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