Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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