Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
