Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
