he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
