I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
