I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
This house was built for laser tag.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
