its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
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She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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