Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
