: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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