i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
