Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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