They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I deserve this hangover.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize