WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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