I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
