Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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