Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
