woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
A bitchslap is in order.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
