Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
