y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize