96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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