Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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