I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
