I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
