Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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