Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
