He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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