that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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