Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
