Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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