he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
