Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
