This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
