this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
