i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
