No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
