the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
