He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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