That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
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i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
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It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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