My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
