talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We talked him into tasing himself.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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