Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
