"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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