It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize