In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
