he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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