sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
