he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
