so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
