Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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