Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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