Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
