need another drink. this is the easiest way
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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